M Magazines - Musicians

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MAGAZINES

_History of the Magazine Story_

July 27, 1914--Author finishes it.

Aug. 3, 1914--Rewrites, giving incidental war slant.

May 9, 1915--Rewrites; hero rescues heroine from torpedoed liner.

Apr. 7, 1917--Rewrites; hero enlists; villain, German spy.

Nov. 13, 1918--Rewrites; denouement, allied entrance into Berlin; heroine, Red Cross nurse.

Nov. 13, 1918--Rewrites; climax, homecoming from overseas.

Aug. 15, 1919--War fiction going stale; goes back to original story, retaining only German villain.

Jan. 1, 1923--Rewrites; takes out German villain.

Apr. 1, 1934--Author in old people's home; sells original story to Cozy Hearth; editor features it as "charming romance of life before the war."

EDITOR (surveying summer landscape)--"Season of mists and mellow fruitfulness, close bosom friend of the maturing sun!"

FRIEND--"But, I say, that was written about autumn, wasn't it?"

EDITOR--"Yes, yes, I know--but you must remember that we always go to press four months in advance!"

It was the first of January when a stranger entered the offices of Pushup's Monthly Magazine.

"Gracious, but it is hot in here!" he remarked to a man in his shirt sleeves, who was mopping his face with a handkerchief.

"Some," was the terse reply of the man, who was no other than the famous editor himself.

"What are all those flowers, straw hats and palm-leaf fans scattered about for?"

"Oh, to give a touch of realism;--we are now preparing our great Midsummer Fiction Number," was the great editor's kindly reply.--_E.C.H_.

MAJORITY

"You don't mean to tell me you ever doubt the wisdom of the majority?"

"Well," responded Senator Sorghum with deliberation, "what is a majority? In many instances it is only a large number of people who have got tired out trying to think for themselves and have decided to accept somebody else's opinion."

MARKSMANSHIP

"Why do you compare my marksmanship with lightning?" asked the recruit.

"Because," replied the instructor, "it never hits twice in the same place."

OFFICER (to recruit)--"Goodness gracious, man, where are all your shots going? Every one has missed the target."

SOLDIER (nervously)--"I don't know, sir. They left here all right."

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