TRAVELERS

A party of tourists were going through a small town, having the time of their lives, laughing and joking. One of them thought she would have some fun, and called to a little girl standing near, "Are there any shows in town?" To which the little girl answered, "Only the one you people are making."

The value of travel oftentimes depends upon who travels.

Mrs. Williams, who had recently returned from abroad, was attending an afternoon tea given in her honor.

"And did you actually go to Rome?" asked the hostess.

"I really don't know, my dear," replied Mrs. Williams. "You see, my husband always bought the tickets."

_See also_ Americans; Destination.

TREES

  I think that I shall never see   A poem lovely as a tree.

  A tree whose hungry mouth is prest   Against the earth's most flowing breast.

  A tree that looks at God all day   And lifts her leafy arms to pray;

  A tree that may in summer wear   A nest of robins in her hair;

  Upon whose bosom snow has lain;   Who intimately lives with rain.

  Poems are made by fools like me,   But only God can make a tree.

  --_Joyce Kilmer_.

TRENCHES

CHEERFUL ONE (to newcomer, on being asked what the trenches are like)--"If yer stands up yer get sniped; if yer keeps down yer gets drowned; if yer moves about yer gets shelled; and if yer stands still yer gets court-martialed for frost-bite."--_Punch_.

TROUBLE

The cheery caller tried to persuade old Aunt Martha not to dwell upon her troubles, telling her she would feel happier if she ignored them. "Well, honey," said the old lady, "I dunno 'bout dat. I allus 'lowed when de Lord send me tribulation he done spec' me to tribulate."

TRUTH

Many truths expressed are never claimed at their destination.

Truth is elastic. Don't stretch it unless you want it to fly back and sting you.

FIRST STUDENT (wearily)--"I suppose I'll be up all night tonight; I have to make out my expense account."

SECOND (more hopefully)--"Why don't you tell the truth and get a good night's rest?"

The two village trouble-makers had gotten into a row and the matter was up in court. Uncle Wash, an old gentleman of color, was a witness.

"Now, uncle," said the lawyer, "tell me just what conversation occurred."

"I kain't jes' remember it all," replied the candid Wash, "excep' dat each one was callin' de other what dey is."

"Truth crushed to earth will rise again" said the hopeful person.

"Yes," replied the cynic; "but it's liable to have to go with a crutch for some time after."