WOMAN SUFFRAGE

"It seems so silly to me," she said scornfully, as she threw down the newspaper after a casual glance at the headlines.

"What seems silly?"

"All this talk about candidates for the presidency. There can't but one be elected, can there?"

"Of course not."

"Well, why should a dozen or so be trying for it? Why doesn't just the man who is going to be elected be a candidate, and all the rest go on about their business, as all this talk and running around isn't going to do them any good after all?"

"That young politician is paying you marked attention, girlie."

"Um, yes. Another problem added to our girlish troubles."

"Eh, what?"

"Is he after me or my vote?"

WARD HEELER--"Are women trying to reform politics?"

DISTRICT LEADER--"Reform nothing! They've started in to grab the jobs."

FIRST LADY--"Did you vote with all those vile people?"

SECOND LADY--"I certainly did. I was curious to know how it felt."

"Wimmin voters this year."

"Yes, and these short skirts make a lot of wimmen look like little girls."

"That's right. You gotta be careful who you try to pat on the head."

"Well, Maria," said Jiggles after the Town Election, "for whom did you vote this morning?"

"I crossed off the names of all the candidates," returned Mrs. Jiggles, "and wrote out my principles on the back of my ballot. This is no time to consider individuals and their little personal ambitions."

There are compensations in all things. When women get the suffrage they won't want to be moving all the time, for fear of losing their votes.--_Puck_.

"What are your reasons for wanting a divorce, madam?" inquired the judge.

"Failure to support."

"But you live in apparent luxury."

"He failed to support me for a nomination that I wanted."

"Another of our masculine pleasures is about to become a thing of the past, thanks to woman suffrage."

"What do you have reference to?"

"Taking the straw vote. Who would venture to predict a woman's ballot twenty-four hours before election?"

WOMAN'S RIGHTS

_Why We Oppose Pockets For Women_

1. Because pockets are not a natural right.

2. Because the great majority of women do not want pockets. If they did, they would have them.

3. Because whenever women have had pockets they have not used them.

4. Because women are expected to carry enough things as it is without the additional burden of pockets.

5. Because it would make dissension between husband and wife as to whose pockets were to be filled.

6. Because it would destroy man's chivalry toward woman if he did not have to carry all her things in his pockets.

7. Because men are men and women are women. We must not fly in the face of nature.

8. Because pockets have been used by men to carry tobacco, pipes, whisky flasks, chewing-gum, and compromising letters, we see no reason to suppose that women would use them more wisely.

WORK

  Oh, would that working I might shun,     From labour my connection sever,   That I might do a bit or none     Whatever!

  That I might wander over hills,     Establish friendship with a daisy,   O'er pretty things like daffodils     Go crazy!

  That I might at the heavens gaze,     Concern myself with nothing weighty,   Loaf, at a stretch, for seven days--     Or eighty.

  Why can't I cease a slave to be,     And taste existence beatific   On some fair island hid in the     Pacific?

  Instead of sitting at a desk     'Mid undone labours, grimly lurking--   Oh, say, what is there picturesque     In working?

  But no!--to loaf were misery!--     I love to work! Hang isles of coral!   (To end this otherwise would be Immoral!)

  --_Thomas R. Ybarra_.

Labor is man's great function, He is nothing, he can do nothing, he can achieve nothing, fulfill nothing without working.--_Dewey_.

If you are poor--work. If you are rich--continue to work. If you are burdened with seemingly unfair responsibilities--work. If you are happy--keep right on working. Idleness gives room for doubts and fears. If disappointments come--work. If sorrow overwhelms you and loved ones seem not true--work. If health is threatened--work. When faith falters and reason fails--just work. When dreams are shattered and hope seems dead--work. Work as if your life were in peril. It really is. No matter what ails you--work. Work faithfully--work with faith. Work is the greatest remedy available for both mental and physical afflictions.--_Korsaren_.

I believe in the stuff I am handing out, in the firm I am working for; and in my ability to get results. I believe that honest stuff can be passed out to honest men by honest methods. I believe in working, not weeping; in boosting not knocking; and in the pleasure of my job. I believe that a man gets what he goes after, that one deed done today is worth two deeds tomorrow, and that no man is down and out until he has lost faith in himself. I believe in today and the work I am doing, in tomorrow and the work I hope to do, and in the sure reward which the future holds. I believe in courtesy, in kindness, in generosity, in good cheer, in friendship and in honest competition. I believe there is something doing, somewhere for every man ready to do it. I believe I'm ready--RIGHT NOW!--_Elbert Hubbard_.

  I ask no odds of any man,     I am not one that follies sway,   I am the source of my rewards,     I do my work each day.

  It matters not if rich or poor,     This is the future's great command,   Who does not work shall cease to eat;     Upon this rock I stand.

  The fruit of trees, the grain of fields,     Wherever use and beauty lurk--   The good of all the world belongs     To him who does the work.

  --_Max Ehrtnan_.

  Are you trying to climb where the chosen are,     Where the feet of men are few?   Do you long for "a job that is worth one's while?"     Well here's a thought for you:

  The pots of gold at the rainbow's end     Are sought by the teeming mob,   But the fairies who guard them choose as friend     The man that loves his job.

  No matter what grip of hand he has--     How poor or strong his brain,   There's always a place for the man who loves     His work with might and main.

  Does he dig in a ditch, or blaze a trail,     Where the dreams of men may run?   No clod of earth shall shoulder him     From his place out in the sun.

  It isn't the kick, It's not the pull,     That brings the strong man out;   But it's long-time work, and it's all-time will,     And cheerful heart and shout,

  Have you faith in yourself? Do you want to win?     Is your heart for success athrob?   There's just one thing that can bring you in     With the winners--love your job.

  --_Stewart Lishear_.

_Work Makes Men_

"Work," as Henry Drummond said on the death of his friend John Ewing, of Melbourne, "is given man, not only, nor so much, perhaps, because the world needs it, but because the workmen need it. Men make work; but work makes men. An office is not merely a place for making money; it is a place for making men. A workshop is not a place for making machinery only; it is a place for making souls, for filling in the working virtues of one's life; for turning out honest, modest and good-natured men."

FIRST NAVVY--"Ye know, it's hard lines on Joe, 'im bein' so short-sighted."

SECOND NAVVY--"Why? Yer don't need good eyesight for our job!"

FIRST NAVVY--"No, but 'e can't see when the foreman ain't lookin', so he has to keep on workin' all the time."

A youth was being scored by his father for his flighty notions, his habit of shirking and general unreliability. "Hard work never killed anybody," the old man added.

"That's just the trouble, dad," returned the youngster. "I want to engage in something that has a spice of danger in it."

"Why don't you get out and hustle? Hard work never killed anybody," remarked the philosophical gentleman to whom Rastus applied for a little charity.

"You're mistaken dar, boss," replied Rastus; "I'se lost fouh wives dat way."

  For whether he's wielding a scepter or swab,   I have faith in the man who's in love with his job.

  --_Shorey_.

WORRY

"Didn't you use to belong to a Don't Worry Club years ago?"

"Yes," replied the patient yet firm woman. "I had to resign. Nobody worried about who was going to fix up the sandwiches and salad and freeze the ice cream, but me. So I decided I was just a born worrier and was out of my class."