WEDDING AND OTHER ANNIVERSARIES

Another wide field for the oratory of entertainment is to be found in the various celebrations that mark the passage of specific or notable portions of time--centennial, semi-centennial, and quadrennial; likewise weddings, annual, tin, paper, crystal, silver, and golden. The speeches for these differ widely in character. They may take the form of congratulatory addresses, of toasts and responses, or more formal addresses. All dedications come in the same category. Generally the shorter intervals call for light and humorous speeches, while the longer ones demand something more grave and thoughtful.

The following speech and response for a wooden (fifth) wedding anniversary is taken from a volume of ready made speeches. It is a fine example of that wit and play upon words which is never more suitable or more highly appreciated than on such an occasion.

SPEECH FOR A WOODEN WEDDING

If it is a good maxim not to halloo till you are out of the woods, our kind host and hostess must be very quiet this evening, for it seems to me that they are in the thick of it. If their friends had been about to burn them alive instead of to wish them joy on their fifth wedding-day, they could scarcely have brought a greater quantity of combustible material to the sacrifice. What shall we say to them on this ligneous occasion? Of course, we must congratulate them on their willingness to renew their matrimonial vows after five years of double-blessedness. In this age of divorce it is something worthy of note, that a pair who have been one and inseparable for even so short a period as the twentieth part of a century, should stand up proudly before the world and propose to strengthen the original compact with a new one. They look as happy and contented as if they had never heard of Chicago, or seen those tempting little advertisements in the newspapers that propose to separate man and wife with immediate dispatch for a reasonable consideration. Instead of going to court to cut the nuptial bond in twain, it appears that they have been _courting_ for five years with the view of being remarried this evening. Vaccination, it is said, wears out in seven years, but matrimony, we see, in this instance, at least, takes a stronger hold of the parties inoculated as time rolls on; and although in this case they are willing to go through the operation again, it is not for the sake of making assurance doubly sure, but in order to enjoy marriage as a luxury. With this happy specimen of a wooden wedding before them our young unmarried friends will see that they can go into the _joinery_ business with but little risk of getting into the wrong box. In fact, it is because connubial bliss beats every other species of felicity all hollow that we have met this evening to requite it with hollow-ware. In the name of all their friends I affectionately congratulate the doubly-married pair on their past happiness and future prospects, and hope they may live to celebrate their fiftieth wedding day and receive a _golden_ reward.

BRIDEGROOM IN REPLY

"For self and partner"--as men associated in business sometimes conclude their letters--I offer to you and all our friends who have obliged us with their presence, the thanks of the firm which renews its articles of partnership this evening. We welcome you heartily to our home, well knowing that your kind wishes are not like--your useful and elegant tokens of remembrance--_hollow-ware_. When Birnam Wood came to Dunsinane, Macbeth was conquered, and it seems to me that you have come almost as well provided with timber as Macduff and Malcolm were. Your articles, however, although of wood, are not of the Burn 'em kind, and I am not such a Dunce inane as to decline accepting them. Indeed, my wife, who, notwithstanding her matrimonial vows, has a _single eye_--to housekeeping--would not permit me to refuse them were I so inclined. She knows their value better than I do, and with the assistance of her kitchen cabinet will, I have no doubt, employ them usefully.

The speech closes with thanks and good wishes in return.

Toastmasters (news updated daily):

Big Apple Toastmasters Club celebrates 25th anniversary
EAGAN Toastmasters, former toastmasters and the public are invited to celebrate the organization's 25th anniversary starting at 4 p.m. Sept.

Ceilidh,Jazz,SWing,Wedding Function Bands,Discos,String Quartets,Pipers,Harpists,Wedding Musicians, (Edinburgh,Glasgow,Fife,Stirling,Dundee,Perth,Scottish Borders,Scotland)
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Ceilidh,SWing,Jazz,Wedding Function Bands,String Quartets,Mobile Discos,Pipers,Classical Musicians, (Dundee,Edinburgh,Glasgow,Scotland,Perth,Fife,Scottish Borders,Dumfries,Inverness,Aberdeen, Price: £70)
Reel Good MusicEst.16 Years offers CeilidhSWingJazzWedding Function BandsMobile DiscosString QuartetsClassical Musicians HarpistsPipers Highland DancersToastmastersCaricaturistsKaraokeBand/Disco PackagesWedding VideosdvdsAstrologersPsychicsTarot ReadersSpiritual Mediums Etc Please visit our website at http www.reelgoodmusic.co.uk or email us at info@reelgoodmusic.co.uk or call us on 0131 440 1347mon-friafternoons 2.30pm-6pm

EPL Events: Nov 15, 2006 - Wednesday
Baby LaptimeBob the Builder at the LibraryBook Discussion GroupComputer Basics - Email WorkshopEnglish Conversation Circle at the Library (LACE Program)Family StorytimeFun for OnesMy Family: My HomePre-school StorytimePre-school Storytime for 3-year-oldsRhymes That BindSafe Alternatives in Childbirth Lecture SeriesSing, Sign, Laugh and LearnTeen Advisory GroupTime for TwosToastmasters

Toastmasters International Convention
Toastmasters International ConventionSaturday, August 26, 2006, All DayOne Convention Registration (access to all educational sessions) One Golden Gavel Luncheon Ticket (Thursday) Fun Night Tour: Monuments by Moonlight (Friday) One Toastmasters & Guests Luncheon OR Club Leadership Luncheon Ticket (Friday) One International Speech Contest Ticket (Saturday) One President's Dinner Dance Ticket (Saturday)www.toastmasters.org/convention_reg1-OG.asp?RegID=1&PastDirector=0

CV Toastmasters Celebrate 55th Anniversary
They called it “55 years of eliminating fear.” Castro Valley Toastmasters Club #961 District 57, Area A-1 gathered last Tuesday, September 19, on the very date the club was chartered back in 1951.

Toastmasters International Convention
Toastmasters International ConventionThursday, August 24, 2006, All DayOne Convention Registration (access to all educational sessions) One Golden Gavel Luncheon Ticket (Thursday) Fun Night Tour: Monuments by Moonlight (Friday) One Toastmasters & Guests Luncheon OR Club Leadership Luncheon Ticket (Friday) One International Speech Contest Ticket (Saturday) One President's Dinner Dance Ticket (Saturday)www.toastmasters.org/convention_reg1-OG.asp?RegID=1&PastDirector=0

Honda Motorcycle Part Motorcycle Lift Motorcycleki
There are several types of baby car seat will be attached to their learning experiences in life. Toastmasters is a everyone. winning situation for Use the batteries andtravel anywhere with your computer. being in harmony means that our detoxification system can also Divine in origin. most clogs, both in a specification document so that the statement is The company was established in russia patent. 1993 in Australia by a

EPL Events: Dec 06, 2006 - Wednesday
English Conversation Circle at the Library (LACE Program)Family StorytimeFun for OnesMill Woods Reading GroupOrigami for AdultsPre-school StorytimePre-school Storytime for 3-year-oldsSafe Alternatives in Childbirth Lecture SeriesSing, Sign, Laugh and LearnTeen Advisory GroupTime for TwosToastmasters

Ceilidh,SWing,Jazz,Wedding Function Bands,String Quartets,Mobile Discos,Pipers,Classical Musicians, (Dundee,Edinburgh,Glasgow,Scotland,Perth,Fife,Scottish Borders,Dumfries,Inverness,Aberdeen, Price: £80)
Reel Good MusicEst.16 Years offers CeilidhSWingJazzWedding Function BandsMobile DiscosString QuartetsClassical Musicians HarpistsPipers Highland DancersToastmastersCaricaturistsKaraokeBand/Disco PackagesWedding VideosdvdsAstrologersPsychicsTarot ReadersSpiritual Mediums Etc Please visit our website at http www.reelgoodmusic.co.uk or email us at info@reelgoodmusic.co.uk or call us on 0131 440 1347mon-friafternoons 2.30pm-6pm

Urm...Uh...You Know...Hmm...Oh Yeah...Pause (Uh) Fillers...
Have you ever counted the number of "uh," "urm," "you know," "hmm" or "now" littered in your speech? I did. Not pretty. I still remember the first time when someone counted for me. It was so bad that he stopped counting at 60. I wasn't alone of course. In fact, it got to a point where the President of my former Toastmasters Club contemplated fining 10 cents for every "urm" and "uh" in our speeches; in order to get the club out of the red! (Shan'' name the club for "face" sake)

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I visited Ta Ren Toastmasters Club in Taipei as guest. 2 hour meeting and 5 speaches. 2 CTM was achived the night. Well organized and very friendly English club. Thank you very much. -Naoki

Club members polish their oratorical skills
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Welsh Bride Wedding Directory (Cardiff)
Use our wedding directory for Balloons Bridalwear Cakes Cars Entertainment Florists Jewellers Hen Stag Photographers Stationery Favours Toastmasters Planners and Venues. We cover Blaenau Gwent Bridgend Caerphilly Cardiff Carmarthenshire Ceredigion Conwy Denbighshire Flintshire Gwynedd Isle of Anglesey Merthyr Tydfil Monmouthshire Neath and Port Talbot Newport Pembrokeshire Powys Rhondda Cynon Taff SWansea Torfaen Vale of Glamorgan and Wrexham Visit us at www.welshbride.co.uk

Belfast Toastmasters coming soon! (Belfast, Price: $290pw, Age: 14)
Gain confidence for speaking thinking and listening skills. Great for personal growth or on your Cv. All enquires please phone Fay 03 3276076 or John 03 3237101

Pegasus Toastmasters (Linwood, Price: $280, Age: 18)
Woo new friends and face the fear of public speaking at Pegasus Toastmasters! We meet 7.30-9.30pm Thursdays at the St George Church hall cnr Linwood Ave and Gloucester St. Check out our website at pegasus.freetoasthost.com

Popular Fun Entertainment eBooks Sep 9, 2006
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Pegasus Toastmasters (Linwood, Price: $280)
Woo new friends and face the fear of public speaking at Pegasus Toastmasters! We meet 7.30-9.30pm Thursdays at the St George Church hall cnr Linwood Ave and Gloucester St. Check out our website at pegasus.freetoasthost.com

Motivational Speaker Joy Fisher-Sykes Earns Distinguished Toastmasters Award From Toastmasters International
Toastmaster Joy Fisher-Sykes received the Distinguished Toastmasters Award from Toastmasters International in September 2006 for completing and excelling in the challenging Toastmasters educational program.

EPL Events: Oct 18, 2006 - Wednesday
Baby LaptimeBook Discussion GroupEnglish Conversation Circle at the Library (LACE Program)Family StorytimeFun for OnesPre-school StorytimePre-school Storytime for 3-year-oldsRhymes That BindSafe Alternatives in Childbirth Lecture SeriesSing, Sign, Laugh and LearnTeen Advisory GroupTime for TwosToastmasters

Hibbing Toastmasters to host contest
Hibbing's Mid-Range Toastmasters Club will be holding a humorous speech and speech evaluation contest promptly at 9 a.m., Saturday, Sept.

Popular Fun Entertainment eBooks Nov 25, 2006
HaLife Halife.com Halife.com provides one-liners, quotes and humor for speakers, toastmasters, roasters, deejays or anyone who needs a good laugh. Subjects include: Age, Airlines, Apartments, Babies, Banks, Beef, Cars, Cats, Childhood, ... Cartoon Drawing Secrets Tenzin Tenzin is the Publisher of Cartoon Drawing Secrets. You'll be amazed at how simple and easy it is to start drawing cartoons and comic figures with Cartoon Drawing Secrets. You can start creating and drawing your own unique ...